LOSS AND LIFE LESSONS

Noodle never had a memory of what it feels like to lose someone until she was 12. Though she had frequently changed many schools from an early age the void of not having close friends was always filled by some of her new classmate. Noodle always had this sense of replacement as in she could find new friends so saying goodbye to old ones was less painful. However she was unaware about the fact that she might lose someone who is irreplaceable .

That day life truly taught her to “EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED” . It was so sudden and unanticipated, it felt as if she was having worst nightmare of her life and constantly kept praying to god to wake her up and bring back her loved one. She yet had so many things to tell him, so many places to travel, many occasions to celebrate. As the days passed she still hoped for him to return despite that slowly it made her realize she can neither talk to him nor see him again which made her miserable. She had to go back to her routine life but this time without him. How could you expect a 12 year old child to grieve for her father few days before and now concentrate on her studies and household chores?

The only problem with Noodle was she never wanted people to see how vulnerable, hurting and weak she was inside. In order to come up as a strong girl in front of others she completely disassociate with the reality. Noodle believed that he was living far away from her and he wouldn’t talk to her unless she did well in school but she failed to realize that by doing so she was not healing but hurting herself even more. She was bottling all her grief , sorrow , guilt and anger; not knowing that one day it might burst and she would be struggling between life and death. She was sooner diagnosed with migraine, depression and anxiety (she is taking her medication and doing pretty decent these days).

Acceptance that is coming to terms with the fact that he is no longer physically present was the most challenging. Time doesn’t erase but it surely eases the pain. She always feared that healing from the loss mean one would forget what they looked like or how they sound but it actually meant that you could look back at time cherish the memories you have of them and be happy that you got to experience all of it. A note to mini noodle: it is totally fine to be vulnerable , to seek help. You don’t have to go through this alone ; you’ll not be bothering anyone if you share your pain they’ll be delighted to help you get through this tough time.